6AM. perfect time to start another tumblr.

maddieandme:

Meet Madelyn Olive. Or as I call her, Maddie. She doesn’t respond (yet) to other names, such as Maddie Bear, Bear, Chicken, Chicken Bear, and about 20 more. We’ve established a solid pace of about one nickname a day. By her high school graduation in 2029, she’ll have north of 6,500 different names and absolutely no self-identity. Can you imagine how long it’s going to take her to walk across the stage.

I don’t know much about her yet. She seems to like making faces in her sleep. I secretly want her to love golf so we can hit the course on the weekends together. I bet she breaks 100 faster than I ever did. If she’s anything like her grandfather, she’ll furiously launch her putter in a lake by six. 

She’s going to love playing games. All games. Any game. Day or night. She’s already playing them at two weeks. Her favorite seems to be waiting for Daddy to give her a new diaper, then staring me dead in the eye and absolutely ruining the fresh one. The game’s called “Poopie Bomb” (her name, not mine). The objective is to time her diaper changes just right. Cut the right wire, and you’re only changing one diaper. Cut the wrong wire - she shits on the wall. 

Yesterday we cut the wrong wire. I kid you not. She knew she won. 

I love that about her. 

Not exactly sure how frequently I’ll update this tumblr. Maybe this will be the only post. Maybe not. I hope to document our stories here, but as we all know, life gets busy.

But for now, let’s keep turning the pages on this story…

The Adventures of Maddie and Me