OH MY GOD, YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP.

A 20-year-old Pennsylvania woman claimed she was attacked by a “black man” while  getting cash from an ATM. For the record, she’s a self-proclaimed McCain supporter.

The man “punched her in the back of the head, knocking her to the ground, and he continued to punch and kick her while threatening to teach her a lesson for being a McCain supporter,” according to a police statement.

The woman also told police her attacker “called her a lot of names and stated that ‘You are going to be a Barack supporter,’ at which time she states he sat on her chest, pinning both her hands down with his knees, and scratched into her face a backward letter ‘B’ on the right side of her face using what she believed to be a very dull knife.”

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It turns out the whole thing was a hoax. A completely made up lie. And the best part about it - is that the B that was supposedly carved in her stupid fat face - is backwards! I can totally see her right now, staring in the mirror thinking, “yeah, this is going to work perfectly.”

These are the type of Americans who support John McCain.