Herman the Pup
Friday night, I open my front door to take out the trash, when this weasly little dog runs between my legs and into my apartment. Where the fuck did he come from? No idea! All I knew was there was a dog in my apartment - and he has a purpose. He ran into my living room, circled around the coffee table, and beelined for the kitchen where he proceeded to piss all over my floor.
Within 10 seconds of ambushing my apt, this little monster emptied his entire doggy-bladded on my floor. He knew exactly what he was doing. I’m sure of it.
Angry as all hell, I turn to Jaclyn, who looks nothing less than belated to have a random dog pissing all over the floor.
She looks at me, and in her high-pitched voice proclaims:
“His name is Herman!”
